Since the day you’re born you are surrounded by ideas and projections of who you should be. Who you are meant to be, who you should aim to be. Your parents define you as their child, your siblings define you as their sister/brother, your friends define you, your neighbours define you, heck even your pet defines you! And when you interact with them you have to assume the preconceived role they have concocted in their minds for you. No wonder so many people feel pressurized all the time, you can’t say no, you shouldn’t make a fuss, you should be easy going and accommodating all the time. That is not the way to finding yourself.
The only true way to find your inner being is to quieten the noise, the voices, the sounds of those around you. Those that seek to influence you to their way of thinking, those that have predefined ideas of you and how you should behave. It is only when you are truly alone that you start to hear your soul’s song. The one that says I don’t like eating that, I love listening to that, more colour, more air, more freedom... when the only person you have to please is yourself. I always wondered why the road to happiness was about knowing yourself and knowing what you want. I always thought if I don’t know what I want, I might as well do what you want.... I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Everything in your life is there because you choose it to be so. You look a certain way, dress a certain way, speak a certain way etc etc all because you have chosen it. Imagine that you had no idea what you wanted from your life, you’d be a sad sorry mess of everyone’s crazy/boring ideas. Sometimes you don’t realise you are at that point, sometimes you see someone blissfully living a dream and they have no idea that they are even asleep. They are alive but they are not living. Their soul songs are so dim that it is blown away in the wind.
The biggest hurdle on your journey you will face is fear. It is the fear you feel inside yourself because suddenly you don’t have the comfort and security of having someone else decide for you. You have to be responsible for your own destiny. You have to be strong and step outside of your boundaries. The beauty of this is once you embrace that challenge you could never surrender yourself again. You have to hand yourself over to fate and accept that no matter what happens you can handle it and it will make you soar. This is the point when fear turns to trust. And that is the biggest reward of finding yourself. Trusting yourself and following your instincts which are now very clear to you.
Life cannot be lived in isolation though. Some people find more happiness and contentment in being by themselves so much that they never go back to being part of a functional society. Perhaps it’s the disdain they feel for society’s great pressure for conformity. As a mass of people we suffer from group think. Where if you are different you are ostracized and cast out for causing distress and fear amongst the living dreamers. Should you ever find yourself at this point, look around for there are many, many more people in the world just like you that would rather be different than be the same. They will embrace you and accept you for who you are, not for who they would like you to be.
Be true to your soul song for it is the only key that can unlock your happiness.
Listen to yourself, know yourself, be yourself.