Saturday, June 29, 2013

29. Breathing the air of me time.

Finally got a chance to have some alone me time. No husband, no kid, no company. Just me and my unrestrained thoughts. I love spending time alone. It keeps me in tune with what I like. I follow my instincts and eat what I like, buy what I like, walk where I like for as long as I like! It's fantastic.

So I spent the afternoon at canal walk. Even though the mall was buzzing with month end shoppers, their kids, trolleys etc it was great. Moving around by yourself even amidst the crowd is quick and easy. What a blissful afternoon:)

Friday, June 28, 2013

28. Hair today, gone today.

Time for a radical change. A new haircut. :) chopped off at the ears and loving it! Hair needs to breathe. It needs to be refreshed and released from all that dry crackled ends that ruin its shiny day. So goodbye to the 'mommy' pony tail, hello short fresh funky bob.

Hopefully with this shorter hair my ears will be more open to not only listening but hearing and understanding. Many a times I've been told I'm a bad listener... This is the time for change. I hear you (mostly Garieth, my amazing understanding husband).  Sometimes we are so caught up in the wonderment that is finding a love that makes you feel complete on another level, that you forget that you also have to work at yourself and at the relationship. Listening is a big part of that. Listening to yourself for yourself and listening to and for your spouse. Word.

Being listened to, is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference. 
~David Oxberg

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

27. Ill

Nursing a sick baby doesn't leave you much time to be ill yourself. So I've been crushed by the cold winter and succumbed to the flu. All priorities are suddenly rearranged to accommodate the healing process.

When I first heard of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it made some sense but I had no idea of its practical implications and how it becomes a way of life. But now I see it all the time, everything gets assigned its time and its priority and we do it without even thinking. It's like a human code. If you can identify which need requires fulfillment you can manipulate anyone! Like machines.

Anywhooo, I have loads of reading to do. Snacks to devour, series to watch and of course some sleep in between.

But before that I leave you with a question... In an episode of SCC a robot stated that humans are ultimately flawed since we can store infinite amounts of information but when we die its all gone. So my question is, if you had the opportunity would you download your brain?

Personally I think a clean slate works better, but it could be my aversion to all things technological. Imagine all the storage, power and cabling required for such an exercise? Perhaps sometime in the future we will be offered a choice. Who wouldn't love to experience a childhood moment again, or see someone they've lost? Imagine you could page through your memories? Imagine.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

25 & 26. Absolutely nothing happened

Sometimes life happens in between exciting events and one has no crazy adventures, no excitement, no hoo-rah. That's just how it is. It took me a long time to understand that. I used to feel that something amazing needs to happen everyday for life to have true meaning. But life has its own meaning. It doesn't need you trying to redefine it. It already is how it is meant to be.

We need time to process, time to grow, time to accept ourselves and the changes around us. And that is what the quiet times are for. Reflection. If we only experienced and never followed up with a thought, we would never change. The change is inevitable for everyone, it's how you manage it that matters most. Always envision the person you wish to be and in the quiet time readjust your path towards that goal.

The rest of the time, life is a motorbike ride with no hands! :)

Sunday, June 16, 2013

23 & 24 Tainted memories

After two days of non stop socializing my good intentions have been severely eroded. The rest of the weekends entertainment will have to go on pause cause I need a break! I haven't even done any reading or watching of Sarah Connor chronicles as yet. I mean what are long weekends for if not to veg and read and snack. I feel robbed!

Another event I completely forgot about is taking place this evening. My high school reunion. At some stage I did feel some nostalgic surges that made me feel as though I might like to attend. But as I paged through the number of people that have accepted the Facebook event notice it dawned on me that I had no idea who these people were? Was I even at the same school? I recognized probably 5 names out of more than 300. It got me thinking about who I was back in high school. What if the high school I remember was not the high school that I actually attended. What if over the years I had chiseled away at the true memory and left behind a smooth, soft edged, rose tinted version. After all there are always three versions of the truth, yours, the other persons and the truth.

So I decided to forego attending the event for fear of being reminded of the horror that might have been high school. That awkward phase in your life when emotions run high, acceptance is so important and any rejections are taken personally. I will review the photos later to see everyone's faces and perhaps then I will remember. Or at least remember enough to have a good giggle at how people have aged and gotten fat. Hehe:)

Besides I wouldn't dream of attending without my glam glam bestest bestie who's living in Korea now. He is the Data to my Captain Picard! .... And right there I realize why I don't know those people. I was part of the geek squad. The nerds who actually did their homework and loved learning. I'll catch up with my fellow high schoolers at the next TED talk. :)

Friday, June 14, 2013

22. Too much socializing

Is there such a thing as too much socializing? Over this long weekend, I'm facing two birthday parties, one wedding, a Father's Day lunch and a braai. Having just come from my nieces 7th birthday, I am already all partied out. Social events sometimes fill me with a degree of angst. I often wonder why that is? There is always something else I'd much rather be doing. The irony is that when I miss it, I'm filled with regret afterwards. And when I do go I have a great time, well most times.

Perhaps for this weekend I need to change my thinking. Instead of facing it with a dubious mind, I should relish and embrace the opportunity to interact with others. I've become a social recluse I suspect. And that is what I need to challenge about myself.

I've always believed we have the ability to change ourselves. Much like our body can heal itself, we can evolve into the person we wish to become. We can make a better version of ourselves.

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Thursday, June 13, 2013

21. The art of smart

According to Warren Buffett if you wish to be smarter, you have to read a lot everyday. But not just read, read and think. You have to exercise your brain and force it to think differently. So for my next trick, hehe I mean challenge, I'm going to endeavor to read one book a week. At first it will have to be for pleasure only for I fear if I jump start into a "thinking" kind of book I might flat line my already numb brain.

So I will now put into use the skills I learnt in a speed reading course I recently completed. Speed reading is something everyone should learn. Imagine how much we could learn if we could read faster. The contestants in a speed reading competition are capable of reading one page per second! All you need to do is train your eyes to move faster. The brain is already that fast. If I had to use an analogy, your brain is a Porsche and when you read slowly you are walking next to it with high heels on, carrying a tray of coffee and a backpack while looking behind you. Google it. Learn how to speed read, you won't regret it.

So on my trusty Kindle I have 354 books. Some fiction, some biographies, some junk. Let the reading begin!

Anyone keen to start a book club? :)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

20. Run

Apparently the best way to lose weight is to run. It's been one and a half years since my baby was born. I have used up all the credit that comes with that excuse. Despite people actually asking me if I'm pregnant again and others commenting on my fat suit, it was something else that triggered my desire to be slim again. I found a Zara jacket at a flea market stall but they only had small and medium sizes. That made me realize that I used to be that girl. The one that could wear anything and anything in a sample size! So here I am, 20kgs overweight. Yes 20. It's a lot of butter blocks. A lot of padding.

So I run. I run for 20mins on a treadmill. 2,5km. Yes I know it's not a lot. But apparently if you run everyday it's enough to help the cause along. Of course I have to eat less too. Like a lot less. Goodbye bread, sayonara pasta, cheese, oh cheese I have loved you too much for too long.

So next time you see me, please say wow you look so thin. I don't care if its true or not I just like hearing it :)

Huff huff, puff puff, run run.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

15-19. Get up earlier

For the past few days I decided to try getting up earlier in the morning. My aim was somehow to regain that edge I used to have over my day. Instead of being its victim, I wanted to be its challenger.  And taking Leo Babauta's advice (from zen habits) I decide to rise 45 mins earlier each day. He actually says rise at 5am which I could not see myself doing! So after ignoring his blogs advice for a number of months....I reluctantly decided to try it.

It has made a major difference in my mindset when starting the day. That crazy rush is no longer my morning start. Instead I start off at a gentle pace and proceed to do so much more like packing lunch, packing my gym bag (yes I make it to gym!) eating breakfast. It has certainly made a difference to my day. Next I would like to add a yoga workout to my morning routine! :)

Thursday, June 6, 2013

14. Free me.

When I look at images like these, I think wow, I wonder what it feels like to be that free... 
How does one get there? Completely true to yourself. Raw self expression. We have to peel away the layers of expectation and sense of duty that's been imposed on us since the day we were born. We fight so hard to fit in, to be accepted and loved. Sometimes people can be very cruel to those who do not conform. So we shy away from anything that is different or would make us stand out in a crowd. 
And inevitably we lose ourselves in the mundane. We move further and further away from that side of ourselves that would dare to dye our hair yellow and orange. Before you know it you've become one of those that mock and scorn those who dare to be unique. For now it's still something I admire from afar, but some day soon... My hair will be yellow, green and orange. Just because I feel like it. :) 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

13. Small changes

When I started this challenge I set out with big grandiose ideas about fresh new exciting things I wanted to experience. I have realized since then that big things happen occasionally but it's the little things that happen every day. For instance, since changing my mind set and approach to scary things I find myself more open to trying new things. Daring myself to do it differently. Cooking something new. Driving a new route. Making new friends. Etc etc. my big idea has filtered into my life and has made changes on the lower levels of consciousness and that is what is shifting me out of my comfort zone. 

It takes a lot to turn a ship, you need wind in the sails as well as oars to row. Heave ho! :)

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

12. Got hacked, well almost.

Today I signed up for a new app called LINE, you know, to try something new. It worked brilliantly. Great new app that allows free chat and "free" calls that actually use your data. All interesting, until my gmail account got hacked afterwards! So Mr hacker from Sacramento, I got your IP address. I'm gonna find me a white hat and teach you a little hacking lesson.

After this incident. I'm rethinking my scary challenge of trying chat roulette! It's a website where you get hooked up to chat with random strangers from all over the world. I've been putting it off since I read on Wikipedia that sometimes you get a naked person! Omg. I don't wanna see some old greasy bastards balls?! Anyway.... Never one to stray from a challenge. I'm gonna try it.

But first another huge downloading exercise and trek in the technological labyrinth.
Feels like matrix 3.

Monday, June 3, 2013

9,10 and 11 - stuck in a rut

For the past three days I have done nothing scary. In fact the only interesting thing I did was buy a roast chicken from pick and pay. It's not easy scarying yourself everyday. The guy that inspired me to  try from did a great job. But he was a single guy living alone. I'm a wife and mom of a one yr old, yes that's my excuse for being a little slow with the scare.

But besides all that its so easy slipping back into your comfortable life. You try a little something and its enough to keep you satisfied for while. You only need a little taste to carry you. It shouldn't be that way, you're supposed to be hungry. Eager and curious to explore and experience life. New life. Perhaps it's a human sense that wanes as you grow older. You start off as a kid only wanting adventure. And slowly that aching quietens and the gentle peaceful rolling of time is what you crave.

Perhaps the key is not to find new scary things but to find new interesting experiences in the quieter time of your life.  Things like yoga, acupuncture, holistic healthy experience with a focus on peaceful longevity. Perhaps it should be both. No, it must be both. Like two sides of the same coin. The down and up of the roller coaster are equally exciting. Like light and dark. Both need each other to be fulfilled. We need both to be whole.

Kudos to pick and pay, the roast chicken was great:)