Friday, January 30, 2015

Where I am vs Where I thought I'd be...

When I resigned from work about a year ago, I had all these ideas of what I would do with all this newfound freedom. I planned to study, revamp my home, straighten out the extra curves on my body, take more pictures, make more friends, read more books... the list goes on and on. And the reality is I've dabbled a bit in some (by a bit I mean I put it on another mini list which I carry in my handbag) and straight out ignored the rest.

Made me wonder what am I meant to do with my time? Who am I meant to be? Or am I that person already?! I cant be. It feels as though I'm short of the goal. Way short. After all these years I still feel like I did in high school where I have no idea what to do with myself?

After a number of years you realise the things you love the most are the things you accumulate a lot of knowledge about, for instance if you liked cars you'd know what Jeremy Clarkson was saying when he was mumbling on that infernal show. So it stands to reason the stuff you know is the direction you should take yourself. Cause that's what everyone says, follow what you love. I love shoes. I love fashion. I photos of fashion. I love jeans, I love denim. I love leather. I love shiny. Am I just a regular girl or is there something more in there?

I also love to write, I love to read. Perhaps its that I love to hear the sound of my own voice inside my head reading what I write. So I ask, when all the have to do's are done, what is left on your list of want to do's?

An art teacher once said to me, art happens when you keep doing something that speaks to you. If you want to make circles, just keep making circles. Eventually the circles assume a life of their own and find the place where they wish to be.

So I think I will write. And I will Pin. Cause I think life without pinterest would just be dull dull dull.
Somewhere along the line I think perhaps I will write a book about denim trends, denim history, denim weaves and denim makers. And take pictures of denim wearers and their interpretations of the art that is denim.

And maybe one day you'll see my denim covered denim book on a coffee table somewhere and be reminded that whatever silly thing you like is your circle and that you should just let it be.