Cancer by Andrew Adar

Mommy is the most beautiful woman in the world

Ok maybe my world is small cause I’m 8
But her face lights up when she smiles
Her eyes shine
Or at least they used to
Her skin so soft and her hands so gentle
No wasted away, all skin and bones
My dad never cries but he cried today till his tears were dry
And he just sat and shook, shoulders stooped and bent
Shaking silently moaning till his strength was spent
And my sister 13 looked like she was about to burst
Burst wide open and scream and shout and vent
But when dad had nothing everybody else just kept quiet
Cause of the cancer, her skin was yellow
Her hair all gone
And now they’re trying to make her look like my mother again
By putting make up on
Whats the use of putting on lipstick and blush and eye shadow
When all she does now is lie there still not moving in that wooden box
Tomorrow we’ll bury her in the ground
Dad says we can come visit
But I think he was saying that more for himself than us
Cause moms gone now. Gone forever. Grown ups keep saying to a better place
But nobody can show me where
If I could get directions I’d ask dad to drop me off
So I could visit her there.
She looks so thin and her eyes dull
I remember sometimes holding her head
Stroking her, so she could throw up
Like she used to hold my head in the bathroom when I got sick
From flu or chicken pox or something like that
But I had to hold her, stroke her hair
That hurt the most
She’s the strongest person I know. Or she was
This isn't fair!
At first I used to brush it for her
Then bit by bit it started to fall
Then it was all gone and eyebrows and all
One time I came into her room from school
I really hate hospitals, everybody there
Wants to be somewhere else but cant leave
I like they're all dying like my mother
Little by little each day
SO I came to visit one day and opened her door
I forgot to knock and the nurse was bathing
And I walked in and screamed from shock
All she was was skin and bones
And when she turned to look at me she looked like a ghost
I couldn’t go back for days and had nightmares for nights
I cried and cried so bad my teachers even asked me to stay home
Day was a wreck and didn’t know what to do
My sister got angry and shouted at me
But she didn’t even have a clue
Have clue that I took a picture from the living room
And slept with that under my pillow in bed
But even a picture of my mom way back when
Couldn’t get that ghost picture out of my head
It got say bad my dad tried to drag me to the car the next visit
But I couldn’t get out at the hospital and he was to tired to force me
But I went back the next day, and the moment I saw her I threw myself into her arms
Cause dad had come back with a letter scribbled by her loving weak hand
It said “Nunu, you don’t have to come inside to see
don’t worry if you said I look like a ghost.
Hugs and kisses be a big girl for daddy
Remember mommy loves you most”

I have that note, and I’m looking down at it now
And I look at my mother’s body and daddy’s still shaking quietly
There’s tears stains on it.
How long have I been in here
Who cares I cant remember
I cant even remember my mommy’s voice without the pain
Except when I read the scribbled words

But like mommy said be strong for daddy
So I get up, and take the most special thing to me
In all the world, its all I have left of her being strong
I kiss, walk up to dad and it put it in his hands
And then my turn to shake while I hold him crying for very long