Paranoia of parenthood

Looking at parenthood from the outside is like watching someone eat chocolate. You imagine all these feelings and sensations that person must be feeling. And you imagine how you might enjoy experiencing those same feelings. 

Then one day you have a kid. And you have a moment where you realise, that sometimes chocolate tastes awfully bitter. Even though still enjoyable, its bitter as hell. For me it was that moment when i discovered just how paranoid you become as a parent. Everything and everyone you come across gets assessed for the risk they pose. Does this person have my child’s best interest at heart? Has this cup been cleaned properly? Is that an old tissue she using to wipe her nose, omg. It can drive you insane. Until you recognise that you have become that kind of parent you cannot change it. You watch out for your child constantly. It starts from the moment you first conceive. Suddenly you’re eating better, taking more vitamins, having more sleep. And it ends when either of you die. 

The first kid always gets the full effect of paranoid parenting. Its the learning curve. We cut our teeth on their illnesses, their hurts, their crazy love of flying and jumping off sky high platforms and diving backwards into the pool. When the second kid arrives, they get a limited exposure pass to the investigations of fevers, rashes, coughs, funny sounds and they get to roam a little more freely in the park than their older sibling got to. The third kid is probably the luckiest. That kid gets a free pass. He is now under the wardship of his two older siblings and woe betide their butts should anything happen to him. Subsequently he is always the craziest.

Its hard being a parent. It really is. If you want to be a great parent it comes at a price. I love the chinese tiger mom theory about parenting. If your child is a success its because you invested in them. If your child is a failure it is because you failed them. Accepting that responsibility puts an enormous amount of pressure on any parent. Sometimes you just cannot get there because life gets in the way. But sometimes we forget that family is life. Parents are the captains of those families. We have to teach them to parent. And to parent well. It is how we preserve the human race. It is how we create people who love people. 

Being a paranoid parent means you have to get in front of the battle. Every single time. You have to fight for them. Protect them. Guide them to the paths that are best for them. You cannot force them to live a life you choose for them but by God you can think a few steps ahead to anticipate any potential pitfalls they may encounter. To keep their way clear so that they may grow up to explore their potential and strive to surpass it.

Trust your gut. Trust yourself. You are all your child needs. Be their parent. Be their rock.