What is your addiction?

We all have one. 

Some are legal, some are not. Some costs you money and some costs you time, energy, life. There is always a price and there is always an addiction. We are all programmed with faults and flaws. Perfect in our imperfect state. For even those flaws are meant to teach us how resilient and powerful we are. We are given a challenge to overcome. How else would we know the impossible is indeed possible. 

There are reformed alcoholics, rehabilitated drug addicts, born again religious followers, these are just the big ones. The ones where the Anonymous group therapy sessions and the religious devout do their work. What about the addictions that are not that common? Where it can be quietly hidden from view. Porn, cigarettes, shopping, these are so common that to be addicted is just ridiculous, no? I mean who can't kick these habits? Everyone who indulges in them believes that they can abstain at any moment. Until you actually try…

My addiction has got to be shopping for shoes. I mean who doesn't know that about me? Its a well known fact that I love buying shoes. Wearing them is another issue all together. I never get to wear them all because I keep buying them so frequently. I met travellers on a group tour once, I spent a few days with them and in no time they had established that I loved to shop. Is it that obvious? I didn't even realise the magnitude of the addiction until I had to have a wall of closet space built to accommodate the mountain of shoes and boots I now own. 

These shoes have now become a constant reminder of an unfulfilled promise I made. I promised myself when I bought each and everyone of them that I would use them and that I needed them. And yet there they are, just waiting for me to wear them. Waiting to deliver on the promise they made to me of being the most comfortable, stylish, useful, trendy, shiny, pretty. Like a pretty girl at her prom wearing a beautiful dress waiting to be asked for a dance that never comes. And I am the wanker that brought her but I am too busy dancing with other girls.

Every effort has to be made to change this scenario. I quit smoking once. My goodness, I loved smoking. I still fight the craving every now and then. If I can quit smoking, I can change how I behave towards shopping and in particular shopping for shoes. Let this be the start of a new era for me. The era where my addiction changes into something that is good for me. Good for my soul, my mind and my wallet. Commencing with Day 1...

God help me.