They say exactly what they want, do exactly as they please and drive like they're the only people in the world! Take turns as wide as you can, the other cars must move. Don't indicate, don't even bother looking. Lines? What lines? If you're between the pavements you're on the road and good to go. Everyone avoids old people drivers because we just know you don't have any insurance! And that you will scratch, dent, bump, total our new flashy cars with its expensive paint jobs without a moments thought.
And that's exactly the kind of old person I want to be. The kind that giggles quietly as the other drivers swerve out of my way. I must make sure to have an old car too. The big ones with big bumpers and a very loud hooter. Because I intend to take it to the next level with copious amounts of hooting as well.
You have to admire that about the elderly. They just don't give a toss anymore. It's the best part about getting old I reckon. You don't have to make excuses or justify bad behavior. You can just let it all hang out. You can punish everyone if you're having a bad day and you will be forgiven because you're old.
So carteblanche to the oldies I say. Do what you like. You've earned the right to be you. We make allowances for you and however you wish to behave. If you get a chance, watch the movie Nebraska. It shows old people at their finest, filthiest and canniviest. But love them you must because ultimately you know the sacrifices they made for you.
Swerve for now I will. But know one day, someone will swerve for me. Or else....Hoot!
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